Many times when I have been tasked with taking the lead on a project, I often make the mistake of assuming everyone has the same information. Then, I falsely assume that people process that information the same way. It is part of my naive nature.
In school, I was in a bubble with the smart kids. While I had a similar IQ and similar grades, and similar knowledge, I always felt I was near the bottom rung. This came from my ADHD interfering with my reading. Everyone around me had devoured volumes of books. The books they would read in a week would take me a year to get through.
My ADHD also set off my RSD. I would score 100s on math tests, but just thought the quiz was easy and everyone was supposed to get everything correct. I never thought I was good at it.
When I was in the military, I was cordoned off with people just like me. We took several tests that separated us into a special group. This furthered my seclusion deep inside my bubble. There were a lot of different types of people represented in this group. This blinded me from how similar we all were on the spectrum.
Taking the Lead at Work
So, when I got to work and mastered all the skills to do my job, I just thought that was normal. I was just a duplicate of those around me. And, when I finished a task, I was given another task. It never occurred to me that I was crushing the game and my bosses were taking advantage of me.
When I took over a supervisory role, my subordinates couldn’t accomplish what I expected. This was my fault because I didn’t know how to communicate with humans. I also didn’t realize that people learned differently.
So as I tried to lead, I ran way out in front. When I turned to look around, I found myself alone. I silently expected others to keep pace, without giving them the tools to do so. I failed to read the blank looks on faces as I tried to train and teach. When I was secluded with similar people, those blank looks meant the person I was training was concentrating and absorbing the information.
As time has passed, I have made adjustments. I have tried to understand who I was trying to lead, what experiences they have had, and how they take in information. Sadly, when stress comes down, all that is tossed aside. So, I just try to avoid leadership roles as much as possible.
